Of course, J Dilla is the soundtrack to the mood swing that shifts summer to fall. I did Detroit dirty when I was home, only came in for a Tigers game like most white people that circumvent the city. My absence speaks volumes to me, I am at odds with much of the gentrification of Detroit and the white-hipsterdom that flanks my favorite building, which much to my surprise was also having windows put in.
This trip was also about family, and none of mine is in the city proper anymore. Suburban sprawl is the story of southeastern Michigan, and while I was born in Detroit and spent my youngest years in Dearborn, Ann Arbor is really my home. I rep Detroit on the macro scale, but when we get micro, I need to be real with you: I am not from the hood.
I have chosen to make the hood my home, and my life, and that is white privilege, too. I reap it everyday when I walk the streets alone, but when I'm with my husband, or my kids, it's strange to see my positionality change. Identity is complex like that. You cannot make assumptions about people. But you can begin by listening to their stories.
We're going to be delving into the drama of identities. When you feel yourself compartmentalized or disconnected, hopefully these exercises will help you connect with others again. We are more alike than different, us humans, but there is how the world has cultured and shaped us. We created the difference and now cannot undo our creation. Race does not exist, but racism does. Discuss.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
shifting back... twisting forward.
this marks the end of an audience for my blog, but it has been a nice run. the end of the year is approaching, so i will write about 50 reflections on how it went. i'm such a nerd. i'm already working on next year and what i will change, how things will be different, moving around books and units, trying to work new ideas into this. how can i continue to bring in historical context, but also talk about current topics and issues, keep a pulse on music and its intersection with life?
i was going to apply to this amazing program called Write A House in Detroit, because i do want to set roots and also be working in education there, even as i continue teaching at BAL. if i had a house there, we could live there during summers, begin the community space we want to (which includes foster/shelter space), spend breaks there but hire other folks to run and care for the house. right now i feel at home in my life, and i am not looking to open it up any more, but maybe someday...
the risks that i want to take, however, are in my writing, and i don't feel like i had any writing that was solid enough to submit. i wouldn't have won, but i should have submitted. it's been a semester of making excuses, but my life is mine to take by the reins. i say this every year, but it's really time to get organized.
i have a big summer bucket list. there is so much that i WILL get done. with my kids in tow, with a killer tan, all smiles and sunglasses, all music and mango.
- figment art festival
- brooklyn promenade
- coney island w/ nas, sali and mohammad
- rockaways
- orchard beach
- liberty science center
- newport beach, jc
- jersey shore
- traverse city
- detroit
- soccer in lincoln park - 3x a week
- the heights
- egyptian festival
- bday brunch
- visit: baby mama and joe, jingy, amama/papa, elena, amanda & karl, jyna, jos, keisha, grandma and grandpa (flynn and fardig), amy and mani, danny and randi, gen, dario and michael, nicco, lindsey, t'ai jamar, maija g.,
- cleaning/organizing house
- curriculum planning
- UP summer mural and next year
the work never stops, but neither does the fun. night night.
-l
i was going to apply to this amazing program called Write A House in Detroit, because i do want to set roots and also be working in education there, even as i continue teaching at BAL. if i had a house there, we could live there during summers, begin the community space we want to (which includes foster/shelter space), spend breaks there but hire other folks to run and care for the house. right now i feel at home in my life, and i am not looking to open it up any more, but maybe someday...
the risks that i want to take, however, are in my writing, and i don't feel like i had any writing that was solid enough to submit. i wouldn't have won, but i should have submitted. it's been a semester of making excuses, but my life is mine to take by the reins. i say this every year, but it's really time to get organized.
i have a big summer bucket list. there is so much that i WILL get done. with my kids in tow, with a killer tan, all smiles and sunglasses, all music and mango.
- figment art festival
- brooklyn promenade
- coney island w/ nas, sali and mohammad
- rockaways
- orchard beach
- liberty science center
- newport beach, jc
- jersey shore
- traverse city
- detroit
- soccer in lincoln park - 3x a week
- the heights
- egyptian festival
- bday brunch
- visit: baby mama and joe, jingy, amama/papa, elena, amanda & karl, jyna, jos, keisha, grandma and grandpa (flynn and fardig), amy and mani, danny and randi, gen, dario and michael, nicco, lindsey, t'ai jamar, maija g.,
- cleaning/organizing house
- curriculum planning
- UP summer mural and next year
the work never stops, but neither does the fun. night night.
-l
Sunday, May 24, 2015
The end is only the beginning (BAL Blog Post #11)
I can't believe it's almost over. This has been such an amazing year where I have learned so much from you, and I have been trying to meditate and master balance. 3 day weekends have a habit of bringing you the balance and time to reflect that you need. In fact, if we went to a 4 day work/school week each week, I bet we'd all actually be a lot more productive. Families would be healthier, stronger, together more often.
But I digress. Our year together is coming to an end, and I will honestly miss the time, space and communities we have built together. my 2nd period class is always lit with videos like this: "Stromae - "Papaoutai"", 3rd period I will always remember for our arguments and discussions, like the one about Kendrick's "hiiiPower", 4th used to be a huge class with Ms. Cotton, one of my favorite days was discussing Biggie's "Juicy", but we've also had so many memories as a small but spirited crew! Oh, and 7th period, I especially enjoyed the silence with you. We made it through narrative essays, poetry, Beloved, my maternity leave, a (still unfinished) zine/newspaper and A Raisin in the Sun. Through it all, I tried to weave in current events around police brutality, race and class in the U.S. and link it to our history through the texts we were reading.
One of the most difficult, high-level texts we read was from Michelle Alexander's book "The New Jim Crow", and we learned about the Reconstruction Era - after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, and the laws began to change to convict freed slaves of any number of inane laws in order to maintain dominance. She makes the direct connection between the Black Codes and laws of this time period in beginning the modern prison system, and the prison industrial complex (in which prison is for-profit and someone is making money off of every jail cell that stays filled). I hope that I have begun to get you to question what you see in the media, and consider that violence against black people has always been a custom in the United States, and that while police brutality is still a huge problem, this has been going on for a long time.
I don't think you'll necessarily think back on this year and say lovingly, "oh, annotation! so glad I met you!", but I do hope that you fondly remember some of the conversations we had, about books, about life, about trying to change and shape our world into a place that is rooted in equality and justice. About dreams and making ours into realities. Because your dream has been deferred, but you do not have to sit back and let it happen. Take your future back. I dare you!
(please leave as comments your reflections on my class. this will be an ongoing and open assignment until the end of the year, as I want to hear about moments you'll always remember, things you enjoy about my class, what I need to change next year so you'll stay awake, which books/songs/topics you liked most, your ideas for improvement. my class is only good because of you, so help me make it better for next year's you.)
I don't say goodbye, I say, "you won't get rid of me that easily". Until we meet again (in the hall next year, while I'm pushing my mobile classroom around!)
xoxo
Ms Lauren
But I digress. Our year together is coming to an end, and I will honestly miss the time, space and communities we have built together. my 2nd period class is always lit with videos like this: "Stromae - "Papaoutai"", 3rd period I will always remember for our arguments and discussions, like the one about Kendrick's "hiiiPower", 4th used to be a huge class with Ms. Cotton, one of my favorite days was discussing Biggie's "Juicy", but we've also had so many memories as a small but spirited crew! Oh, and 7th period, I especially enjoyed the silence with you. We made it through narrative essays, poetry, Beloved, my maternity leave, a (still unfinished) zine/newspaper and A Raisin in the Sun. Through it all, I tried to weave in current events around police brutality, race and class in the U.S. and link it to our history through the texts we were reading.
One of the most difficult, high-level texts we read was from Michelle Alexander's book "The New Jim Crow", and we learned about the Reconstruction Era - after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, and the laws began to change to convict freed slaves of any number of inane laws in order to maintain dominance. She makes the direct connection between the Black Codes and laws of this time period in beginning the modern prison system, and the prison industrial complex (in which prison is for-profit and someone is making money off of every jail cell that stays filled). I hope that I have begun to get you to question what you see in the media, and consider that violence against black people has always been a custom in the United States, and that while police brutality is still a huge problem, this has been going on for a long time.
I don't think you'll necessarily think back on this year and say lovingly, "oh, annotation! so glad I met you!", but I do hope that you fondly remember some of the conversations we had, about books, about life, about trying to change and shape our world into a place that is rooted in equality and justice. About dreams and making ours into realities. Because your dream has been deferred, but you do not have to sit back and let it happen. Take your future back. I dare you!
(please leave as comments your reflections on my class. this will be an ongoing and open assignment until the end of the year, as I want to hear about moments you'll always remember, things you enjoy about my class, what I need to change next year so you'll stay awake, which books/songs/topics you liked most, your ideas for improvement. my class is only good because of you, so help me make it better for next year's you.)
I don't say goodbye, I say, "you won't get rid of me that easily". Until we meet again (in the hall next year, while I'm pushing my mobile classroom around!)
xoxo
Ms Lauren
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Requiem for a Spine (BAL Blog Post #10)
in honor of national poem in a pocket day tomorrow. we will respond to this next week, but if you feel so inclined, after you're done reading post #9 and responding, you can also write your own poem here in the comments!
-Ms. Lauren
requiem for a spine
they say that they didn't strap him into the van,
and that is how his spine was severed.
they say that he had a hammer in his hand,
and that is why they squeezed 10 rounds off.
they say that she was carrying a knife,
in her own home,
and that is why they opened fire.
they say that he assaulted the officer,
that he stole something,
that he was selling cigarettes,
that he had a gun and not a wallet,
that she was an intruder on the porch at 2am.
when his spine snapped,
our breathing went shallow.
when his eyes dropped,
we coughed up a lead-filled lung.
when her knees hit the floor,
we sputtered.
when he backed away, hands up,
blood dribbled from our noses.
when his breath stopped,
our eyes bulged in terror,
our mouths went dry
our wallets spilled out receipts
our car batteries stalled in middle of the road.
your hands around my throat.
your eyes doused in hatred,
as you bring dreams to abrupt ends,
that had already been
shoved under the rug
and forgotten.
we dare to dream anyway,
defiantly, because we will bring
to fruition what you have stolen,
what they have wrenched away
from so many others,
and what we all deserve.
-Ms. Lauren
requiem for a spine
they say that they didn't strap him into the van,
and that is how his spine was severed.
they say that he had a hammer in his hand,
and that is why they squeezed 10 rounds off.
they say that she was carrying a knife,
in her own home,
and that is why they opened fire.
they say that he assaulted the officer,
that he stole something,
that he was selling cigarettes,
that he had a gun and not a wallet,
that she was an intruder on the porch at 2am.
when his spine snapped,
our breathing went shallow.
when his eyes dropped,
we coughed up a lead-filled lung.
when her knees hit the floor,
we sputtered.
when he backed away, hands up,
blood dribbled from our noses.
when his breath stopped,
our eyes bulged in terror,
our mouths went dry
our wallets spilled out receipts
our car batteries stalled in middle of the road.
your hands around my throat.
your eyes doused in hatred,
as you bring dreams to abrupt ends,
that had already been
shoved under the rug
and forgotten.
we dare to dream anyway,
defiantly, because we will bring
to fruition what you have stolen,
what they have wrenched away
from so many others,
and what we all deserve.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Pop Quiz!
Hey guys,
Happy return from break!! It's time to get focused. Please write a comment below with a 2 paragraph response to your reading of Act 1, Scene 2 in A Raisin in the Sun. You may get out your Annotation Guides and any notes you took while reading to use in your response, but may not open your book. Just checking to see who read, and what you're thinking of the Younger family so far!
Love,
Ms. Lauren
Happy return from break!! It's time to get focused. Please write a comment below with a 2 paragraph response to your reading of Act 1, Scene 2 in A Raisin in the Sun. You may get out your Annotation Guides and any notes you took while reading to use in your response, but may not open your book. Just checking to see who read, and what you're thinking of the Younger family so far!
Love,
Ms. Lauren
Saturday, April 11, 2015
writing that dream down (BAL Blog Post #9)
I have been a bad teacher this spring break, in that I haven't done that much work. One of the most difficult things about my job sometimes is that the work continues to pile up, but this stretch off I need to attend to the other facets of my personality: myself as a human, myself as a mother, myself as a wife. Do you ever find it difficult to juggle the responsibilities you have? This is one thing I think about as I get older -- how many selves am I? How do people learn to balance all of the different demands that life has for them? I hope that I figure out the answers to these questions someday.
I have never pretended to be perfect: I am as imperfect as they come. But even though I feel that I mess up on a daily basis, I am still deserving of happiness. What "the dream" is has shifted over the course of my life. I wanted to be successful, as in have my writing published and my expenses covered by a benefactor when I was younger. Then my focus shifted to activism, to feminist and womanist thought, to queer politics and riot grrrl, zines and emo rock, then back to hip-hop and consumerism. I was challenged by a college friend to finally realize my dream of becoming a teacher in 2007. That's a fun story, ask me sometime.
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I thought that teaching would be enough fulfillment, that I would have my students, colleagues, family and chosen family to guide me through the ups and downs of life. I was upset that others looked upon my life as "incomplete" if I chose not to marry or bear children. However, life had secrets in store and I am often a passenger in fate's vehicle.
I never wanted to be an adult - do adult things like buy cars or houses. I wanted to travel the world (and still do) with few possessions, learn language and art forms, drums and dances of cultures on peaks and in valleys of remote world-corners. Suddenly, I am thinking of interest rates and retirement funds, saving for a down payment, things I never thought I'd see myself go for. Have I fundamentally changed over time, or have my dreams changed?
Just yesterday I was talking about buying property with a barn, so that we can have livestock and host parties, so that my DJ retirement plan can come to fruition as my husband caters his astounding food in a farm-to-table venue. Where did this dream come from? This is far from my original desire to live in a brownstone in Brooklyn and publish words about the Q train for volumes of best-selling chapbooks.
What happens when the dream shifts? When you're not who you thought you were, or you want something different from what you swore on before? Do your dreams stay the same when you change? Tell me your dreams. Tell me your diamonds.
I have never pretended to be perfect: I am as imperfect as they come. But even though I feel that I mess up on a daily basis, I am still deserving of happiness. What "the dream" is has shifted over the course of my life. I wanted to be successful, as in have my writing published and my expenses covered by a benefactor when I was younger. Then my focus shifted to activism, to feminist and womanist thought, to queer politics and riot grrrl, zines and emo rock, then back to hip-hop and consumerism. I was challenged by a college friend to finally realize my dream of becoming a teacher in 2007. That's a fun story, ask me sometime.
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I thought that teaching would be enough fulfillment, that I would have my students, colleagues, family and chosen family to guide me through the ups and downs of life. I was upset that others looked upon my life as "incomplete" if I chose not to marry or bear children. However, life had secrets in store and I am often a passenger in fate's vehicle.
I never wanted to be an adult - do adult things like buy cars or houses. I wanted to travel the world (and still do) with few possessions, learn language and art forms, drums and dances of cultures on peaks and in valleys of remote world-corners. Suddenly, I am thinking of interest rates and retirement funds, saving for a down payment, things I never thought I'd see myself go for. Have I fundamentally changed over time, or have my dreams changed?
Just yesterday I was talking about buying property with a barn, so that we can have livestock and host parties, so that my DJ retirement plan can come to fruition as my husband caters his astounding food in a farm-to-table venue. Where did this dream come from? This is far from my original desire to live in a brownstone in Brooklyn and publish words about the Q train for volumes of best-selling chapbooks.
What happens when the dream shifts? When you're not who you thought you were, or you want something different from what you swore on before? Do your dreams stay the same when you change? Tell me your dreams. Tell me your diamonds.
Monday, March 30, 2015
when dreams fade... (BAL Blog Post #8)
Hi everyone,
My babies are really sick, so I'm at home taking care of them today - but there's lots of work to do, let's stay focused on the prize! Email me if you have questions or concerns, I'll be back tomorrow, inchallah. :) -Ms. Lauren
---
Where do we go when our dreams drop? When being sidetracked on the way to your future becomes your future? What happens to the dreams we let die? What happens to the air around us when we let a dream go? Does an old dream stay glimmering in the air, or does it fade to black? Tell me about your dreams, what they are, where they will take you, what landscapes you will discover in your life in the form of a poem. Talk about dreams being realized, or being deferred. Here's my poem to get you thinking: http://ipg.icsmich.org/poems/1724 Happy National Poetry Month, friends! Write to your heart's content on the IPG poetry website! http://ipg.icsmich.org
I've been thinking in languages that I don't speak, and trying to expand my vocabulary in new ways this spring. But, I also always think back to what has come before, to how history has connected to the present and shaped the present like a sculptor and her clay. While the idea of redlining, or segregating people to certain neighborhoods through mortgage restrictions or denials, is no longer a practice in the United States -- I also know that when I travel uptown and pass 86th street, the white people all get off the train. There are certain areas of the city where the impacts of redlining are very clear and evident -- where you can SEE the boundaries of neighborhoods based on who gets on or gets off the train. What has your train experience been with regard to redlining? In which neighborhoods is this most obvious or evident to you? In which neighborhoods is it more subtle?
As we begin reading this text, I want you to think about your ideas of family -- what defines family to you? Is blood thicker than water? Why or why not? Must we always prioritize our family over ourselves? I'm excited for you guys to get to know the Younger family, and learn about their story. Also, if you're looking for some new/old music to brighten up your spring, here you are. You can respond to these songs/videos for extra credit to boost your grade (on paper, emailing me your responses or as a comment on the blog) You're welcome, in advance.
What are your favorite songs about
dreams, that induce a dream-like state, or are generally dreamy?
Let the warm air and the rain wash over us as we head into spring. Good riddance, winter - it's been real, but we need the sun.
Cheers,
Ms. Lauren
My babies are really sick, so I'm at home taking care of them today - but there's lots of work to do, let's stay focused on the prize! Email me if you have questions or concerns, I'll be back tomorrow, inchallah. :) -Ms. Lauren
---
Where do we go when our dreams drop? When being sidetracked on the way to your future becomes your future? What happens to the dreams we let die? What happens to the air around us when we let a dream go? Does an old dream stay glimmering in the air, or does it fade to black? Tell me about your dreams, what they are, where they will take you, what landscapes you will discover in your life in the form of a poem. Talk about dreams being realized, or being deferred. Here's my poem to get you thinking: http://ipg.icsmich.org/poems/1724 Happy National Poetry Month, friends! Write to your heart's content on the IPG poetry website! http://ipg.icsmich.org
I've been thinking in languages that I don't speak, and trying to expand my vocabulary in new ways this spring. But, I also always think back to what has come before, to how history has connected to the present and shaped the present like a sculptor and her clay. While the idea of redlining, or segregating people to certain neighborhoods through mortgage restrictions or denials, is no longer a practice in the United States -- I also know that when I travel uptown and pass 86th street, the white people all get off the train. There are certain areas of the city where the impacts of redlining are very clear and evident -- where you can SEE the boundaries of neighborhoods based on who gets on or gets off the train. What has your train experience been with regard to redlining? In which neighborhoods is this most obvious or evident to you? In which neighborhoods is it more subtle?
As we begin reading this text, I want you to think about your ideas of family -- what defines family to you? Is blood thicker than water? Why or why not? Must we always prioritize our family over ourselves? I'm excited for you guys to get to know the Younger family, and learn about their story. Also, if you're looking for some new/old music to brighten up your spring, here you are. You can respond to these songs/videos for extra credit to boost your grade (on paper, emailing me your responses or as a comment on the blog) You're welcome, in advance.
Dreamy Spring Playlist 2015
You can respond to these songs in addition to
free-writes, for extra credit or to make up for missing work. Lyrics for most of
these songs are available on www.genius.com A ½ page
response will earn you 5 points.
Kendrick
Lamar – “Blacker the Berry” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6e_fenSrFM
2pac
– “Keep Ya Head Up” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M84wmglfso
Notorious B.I.G. – “Juicy” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfybXcVBQSI
(Subtitulado
Español)
Drake
– “Successful” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfyIZxzfTpo
Common
Sense – “I Used to Love H.E.R.” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C99iG4HoO1c
Stromae
– “Papaoutai” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiKj0Z_Xnjc (French, Eng sub)
Jaded
Incorporated – “I Ran” - https://soundcloud.com/jadedinc
Flock
of Seagulls – “I Ran” (Original) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU
The
Cure – “Love Song” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXCKLJGLENs
Depeche
Mode – “Enjoy the Silence” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0AKJMGxwpE
REM
– “Losing My Religion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwtdhWltSIg
Nirvana
– “Smells like Teen Spirit” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsynkL_sU4
(espanol)
Squarepusher
– “Port Rhombus” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSnhXGVTdbk
Coldcut
– “Timber “- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-wl7Xk5FoY
The
Beatles – “Yesterday” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S09F5MejfBE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3RdqTCv_iw
(subtitulado Espanol)
Eugene
the Dream – Spongebob Trap Mix - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzMJk8nGpoc
Proof/J
Dilla -
“Life”- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4MfApWb69g
Frank
Ocean – “Swim Good” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmN9rZW0HGo
Let the warm air and the rain wash over us as we head into spring. Good riddance, winter - it's been real, but we need the sun.
Cheers,
Ms. Lauren
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