keep a prayer in your heart.

the past few weeks have been madness, sheer madness... but in the best way possible. the students really pulled it together to put on a wonderful event on tuesday for the Nothing Like My Home finale/community event. my stress levels were high, as i realize time and time again, that while project-based learning has the rep of being "easy" with regard to high-levels of student engagement, it takes a ton of planning on the part of the teacher to "structure the openness", if you will. in order to have the students truly organize an event, each of the 120 ninth graders had to have a finite role to play, and for me, that meant they needed to have some choice in the matter. i find that giving students agency in the shape and nature of our work is the best way to build their desire to invest in the project.

despite having technical difficulties (i.e. no sound system), the students rocked our worlds, with their deep poetry about the refugee experience, with their ability to roll with the punches and put on a show anyway, with their desire to help and commitment to making the event run, well. my marketing team got the word out there about it, my security team plotted the best entrances/exits for safe traffic flow and monitored for students cutting class, my food team educated our guests about the middle eastern food being served, my gallery guides took our guests on a tour through the photo exhibit and explained the biographies of the subjects. my MCs stepped it up, read loud and proud, projected to the audience, and the kids really listened and appreciated the presence of Ms. Majeed, an Iraqi journalist and refugee, who came to speak to us about her harrowing experiences and need to leave her country.

my kids closed the event by giving me a huge group-hug (being swarmed by 9th graders was adorable) and cleaning up the room in about 10 minutes flat. i was so heart-warmed by their attention to detail, their willingness to listen and participate, and even to try the strange food (falafel, hummus, pita and tabouli salad) that i had made for the occasion. the experience was great and we all enjoyed our time together that afternoon, though the biggest complaint from my students was that the principal spoke too long, ha!

so, i thought that i'd be able to take a big breath, sigh of relief and maybe catch up on my sleep, as of yesterday. i missed a call from my mom during our grade team meeting, and thought it an odd time for her to call me. i called her back as soon as i got home and got my dad on the phone. we chatted for a second before the following twist in the conversation:

dad: "oh yeah, and i'm in the hospital."
me: "WHAT?!?!"
dad: "it's nothing, just a bad stress test. i'm okay..."
me: "well, okay... how long are you there?"
dad: "not sure, they put a stint in..."
me: "WHAT the....?"
dad: "here, your mom can explain it better... love you"
me: "love you, too."
mom: "he neglected to mention that he had a HEART ATTACK! he's in denial. they took him in an ambulance from the doctor's office to the hospital... at least it happened there."
me: "WHAT?!?!?! are you serious? what's going on? should i come home?"
mom: "no, he's fine... he's fine, really. just wanted to keep you in the loop..."

STOP. REWIND. my head swirls back to our conversation of last week, him telling me that all he wants to do when he next visits is sit on my stoop with me and survey the South Bronx block. keeps going back, to his high-blood pressure, to his obsessive morning workouts, to his activeness, to his shoulder surgery and unwillingness to ever seek medical attention, to his laugh, his inability to ever wear socks, his hair that has been in the same style since the early 80s, his piercing blue eyes, his no-bullshit attitude, his "feelings just get in the way" callousness, his installation of the core value of respect into me, his affinity for sweatpants, his "dress sweats", his playing catch with me in the front yard, his teaching me how to throw a ball, water-ski, drive a car, boat and golf cart, his desire to come back in his next life as a buffalo (literally), his love for beer, his long talks about life on the way home from softball games, his local celebrity status, his joy and appreciation for waking up every single fucking morning.

i try to treat every conversation, every meeting, every phone call with every person i know like it will be the last. tomorrow is not promised, this is something i learned from my father, and have had to deal with in the loss of many people in my life. this is why we must treasure every moment and i feel so lucky to have grown up with him, to have him around for me, as this is not a given in our society, either. he is truly a "piece of work", as my mom and i say all of the time, but his influence on who i am is so monumental, and the thought of (not to mention close proximity to) losing him shakes me to my soul.

in my head, i know that he will be okay.
in my heart, i'm asking for your prayers.
i love you, dad.

thank you.

xo
lauren michele fardig

we living our dream

we have begun our 2nd semester and are off to a running start. finishing our unit on stereotypes and reading "American Born Chinese" was enlightening to so many of the kids, who didn't believe that a comic book would actually make them think and reassess their own thoughts. so when i asked them to get "back in the boat" because we were traveling to a new area of the world, they got into it this time. they brought with them some new knowledge that they apply to their lives directly. i can't tell you how many times since this unit i've heard them call each other out on using a stereotype in a derogatory manner.

for my unit on biography, situated in the Middle East, i employed the use of outside resources. i'd been working on bringing a photo exhibit documenting the lives of Iraqi refugees into the school since November. in conjunction with the photos, i'm using a curriculum called "Nothing Like My Home", which was developed by the Morningside Center for Teaching Social Responsibility () the photos were taken by Lori Grinker, a photographer and photo-journalist who charted the journeys of 5 families fleeing Iraq. it has been an incredibly powerful experience from my students, who have done everything from charting out their ancestor's journeys through the world using our classroom floor as the globe, to imagining themselves as refugees and needing to "pack their bags". as we work through the unit, their assessment is to put on a community event where we discuss what we've learned and bring our school community into the conversation about the refugee crisis.

now, leaving something like this to 9th graders is a scary idea, but they've stepped up to the plate, with some amazing analytical and creative ideas for making this event a memorable one. we're on mid-winter break until next week, but i am really excited to return and get working on this project with them.

another project that i'm really excited about is the IPG. my 7th period class had a conference call with the U of M poetry mentors (thanks, Jeff!) two weeks ago, and while other projects have prevented us from making as strong of a presence on the site as i would've hoped so far this semester, it was really exciting for them to feel like they are in the "business of poetry". we're working on refugee/escape poems right now, as i'm trying to connect our classwork to this project, so look for them soon!

sometimes i'm in awe of the work my students do. case in point, S's poem, as posted to the IPG site:

Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King can walk
Martin Luther King walked so Barack Obama can run
Barack Obama ran so children can fly
so ima spread my wings and meet you in the sky
we all sleep so we can dream and we woke up
and we living our dream

as i'm grading today, i realize that even though i question myself and my own methods all of the time, it has been a truly memorable year, and just looking at the documents of their work is testament to the fact that they're becoming writers. most of them struggle and whine their way through the writing process, but they're doing it. they moan about reading, but they're building vocabulary and reading more smoothly. they complain about their brains hurting after my class, but they're getting at some complex thinking, even if it's disguised in playful activities. i believe that the best learning happens when kids don't even realize they're learning at all.

xo
lo

if i ruled the world, i'd free all my sons.

we're working on freedom poems. i'm working on always writing models of all of the pieces that i assign. i have 5 people observing me teach tomorrow afternoon. am i worried? naw, i'll just do my thing. here's my take on freedom, january 2009.

morning hope song

to the glorious mornings
when I wake alone,
and know I have a job
to go to and a home
in my name.
having voted in 3
elections, still
having the right
to choose,
I am a free woman.

what breaks my
heart on my first
conscious breath
each day, is that
I reap benefits
that not everyone
lives, because not all
are yet free. (he said, none of us is free until we are all free)

“if I ruled the world,
I’d free all my sons.”
this is a Nas song
that you have to listen to
every once in awhile.
when the wind blows
just so, and the crisp,
clean January
suddenly breathes the
vision back into
my veins.

we have so much
work to do together,
we are ants, but I believe
in the everyday victories,
and the small progress
we make daily.
Freedom is a state of mind,
like a verbal vision,
a 75 degree, sun-drenched day.

-lmf 1/13/09

active spirit.

from Daisaku Ikeda's Learnings from the Gosho, a quote:

"Buddhism only exists in action. Through action, the Mystic Law inherent in our lives begins to shine. The Buddhist gods and all Buddhas protect people of action; those who consistently take action for justice are truly happy."

---

I would name my child Justice. It would be difficult to name a child Love, though I feel that this is probably the ethical principle closest to my heart. But justice, for all people, for each life that flourishes on this earth... this is the manifestation of love, love activated and I believe that we can all be catalysts of this change. Activism exists in our daily conversations with people, in our one-on-one interactions where we ask people to consider truly what they believe. I only ask people to question, to open their minds enough to delve into different perspectives. To fight for the freedom of all people, from the freedom to love whoever you choose, toward safety from hate crimes, and universal needs being met for all humans.

This is why I do the work I do. Indoctrinating my students is not a goal of mine. We talk about religion, we read stories from religious texts as literature and consider the range of beliefs we've met in cultures throughout the world. I want them to understand their own beliefs, to be able to voice them... be them spiritual, political, academic, ethical or social. Even more, I want them to act in accordance with their beliefs, to be strong and stand up for them.

It was a lovely holiday home. I am back in the Bronx, doing work: reading, thinking, writing, chanting. It feels to close out the year on quiet reflection. Enjoy your journey into 2009!

xo
Lo

a life of lists.

every weekend i get up early on saturday morning to make a list. what MUST i get finished this weekend? what are my goals? what would i be happy with completing? what can i let go for another day? i usually end up completing half of them, if i'm lucky.

the exception to this rule has been thanks to the International Poetry Guild (IPG), one of the interactive communities of U of M's ICS program. i will spend all weekend writing comments on my poets' work. they've started posting poems from home, responding to each others' work, asking if they can post another poem even though they've already posted 5. students are helping each other navigate and sift through comments on the site, responding to the U of M poets' comments thoughtfully. i'm so proud of them.

so before the break, as a culminating event for the IPG, for the semester, we're having a poetry reading/awards ceremony in class and inviting the school to attend. this provides another event for which i need to make a list. just to be funny, i'm going to make a list of the lists i need to make. ah, subdividing lists in order to further promote my procrastination techniques.

- poetry reading needs/supply list
- Marking Period 3 assignment list, add to gradebook
- holiday party playlist (and to-do list)
- putting together the All About Me zine list
- things to do for Unit 4 - Rise of Islam list
- emails about China (RRG, Joshua, Jeremy, Amanda, to list a few)
- procedure for Detroit/AMC grant (possible donors? fundraiser ideas?)
- HW completion list
- obama letter checklist

aye, tomorrow i have much to do. have a lovely weekend.

xo
lo

BKHS votes no to performance pay pilot.

Being that it's my first year in a union, I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about many of the professional issues on my hands. Two weeks ago, we had a meeting where we needed to take a union vote about whether or not to participate in a pilot program that would line our pockets if our school passes its performance report card (read: based on Regents test scores). What would I do with $3,000 in my classroom? A lot. But I didn't want to jump on that overloaded bandwagon without considering what this means beyond a bonus. At what cost? Where is the money for this program coming from? Is this the beginning of performance and merit-based pay in the NYC public schools?

So, I took a step back and listened to some of my colleagues weigh the pros and cons. I don't agree with high stakes testing being the be-all-end-all definition of a student's success. I also don't like the divide-and-conquer methodology that I foresee happening within a school if teachers are being paid different levels based on student performance. I think about how money can change friendships, and also working relationships. The students who need the most assistance with reading, writing, and thinking skills will not get the best teachers, because they will most likely be teaching the honors students. I don't disagree with incentivizing teachers who do good work, but standardized tests were not meant to measure a teacher's ability, only what a student knows at a snapshot in time... and they do this insufficiently. Why should funding be tied to these scores?

We seriously debated this vote for quite some time, and are currently the only school offered to be in the program who voted no. We are saying, with this vote, that we are philosophically and pedagogically opposed to merit-based pay. We learned that the money for this program is being drawn from public funding, we were very concerned about the allocation of public funds for this pilot. We would like to have meaningful, holistic assessments of our progress as educators, and of our students' work, in the interest of learning how to refine our practice, not in the interest of being paid for it.

I'll say it again: BK was the only school offered this program who declined the money, which really concerns me.

It feels amazing to be working at a school where my colleagues are concerned about vision, about in-the-long-run. It also feels great to have a community where we want to discuss these issues and decide collectively how they affect us. It can get lonely in the classroom sometimes, so it's incredible to be a part of a place like this.

Cheers,
Lo

yes! i have some advice!

i feel very confident this afternoon, as i devulge this small secret. sometimes i wonder, when writing, if any of my trials and tribulations are helping other people. but this will. we'll call this one: documentation.

background: in new york, we have external evaluators who come visit twice a year for the School Quality Review (SQR). when they enter our classrooms, we are to have our unit plan and lesson plans in a folder ready for them, and a binder with unit overviews, lessons, worksheets, student work. so that means at our department meeting this week, we were reviewing binders.

now, we did an e-portfolio at u of m, which was amazing for portability and ability to share our work, but i have to say, i am obsessed with paper documentation. i love clear plastic sleeves that go into binders and preserve my work, and my students' revisions of my ideas. they work and i realize what i could've done better. i try to improve it each time.

so, my advice to you is this: alongside your e-portfolio, save copies of your work. photocopy student work, start now! put it in a big box until you are ready to sort it. one rainy day, raid an office supply store near you for binders, clear sleeves, dividers, markers and your big box o' work. make sure you have a resume, teaching philosophy, model lessons and accomplishments you're proud of within your teaching career. bring this binder around with you to job interviews. many school districts in the country require you to keep your work, record your practice, in this way. if you can talk about it and show examples, you make an impression.

video is wonderful, but i do not have the luxury this year. however, i can control how i'm represented on paper, i know how to highlight and sell myself. having a colorful, aesthetically pleasing portfolio chock full of what i believe about teaching and how it's worked, this is better than a photo album (though my kids' photos are all over it!). it's great documentation and it's also organizing yourself for the next time you teach a unit. you'll always revise and change things, but you have a foundation to build from.

yay! my first piece of advice to new teachers! i feel weathered already. happy fall day to you.

xo
lo