i have been trying to just breathe. it has been simultaneously the best and most challenging year of my life. i don't know if i'll ever recover from this year, or how to measure my growth. i just know that i've been growing exponentially in my ways of understanding the world, and in my ability to maneuver through my days unphased. i am galvanizing myself right now, building armor out of an intense love and wearing it to protect myself. to cover others. to win.
for the first time in my life, i feel like i am always winning. it is humbling, because none of this is about me. it is about you. i write to me a lot, but this is the time to turn it outwards, to expose it. i don't need an audience for my writing, because i have one in my daily life. except here is the thing: the biggest thing i've learned this year is how to listen.