I never go out anymore. I am the true introvert that I always dreamed of being, despite social tendencies before having children. So, a text from B about her birthday karaoke at everyone's favorite bar was right on time. It is so hard to reconcile myself with who I have become. I miss my friends. I miss having things to say to them. I miss talking about things other than my kids. I miss a functioning brain.
So, I didn't get onstage, but I did sing along and cheer my friends on as they sang, and it was beautiful to have a moment to myself, by myself, catching up with people I love so much and never get to see. I aim to always keep myself alive, but it's difficult to not let your identity meld with parenthood. Who am I without my kids? I don't even know anymore.
All I really know is that Bianca and Noah singing 'Tenderoni' and Annes singing 'Eighteen and Life' was exactly what I needed in my life and it's so, so good to be home.